Life isn’t always about rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes life just sucks and we get hurt. People leave you, your heart gets broken, someone mistreats you and you make mistakes you can’t undo…
unfortunately, no single person on earth can escape this. But what do you do when you wake up in the morning with pain in your chest? When you feel like the only thing you can do is staying in your bed for the rest of your life, drowning in your sadness. When you can’t seem to imagine that you’ll ever get rid of the hurt? Well, let me tell you now, there is another way!
Pain is a great teacher. Not a pleasant one, but a good one. The evolutional meaning of pain is to warn us, to tell us something has to change in order to survive. Pain can push you in the right direction and transform you into a new and stronger person. So why not use this pain to become better? Find out how you can transform this pain into power!
Acknowledge the painful feelings. Don’t run away from them, but make friends with these feelings. Get to know them. Face it. Ask yourself, why do you feel this hurt? Don’t be afraid to let yourself experience all these feelings. Be careful that you don’t get stuck in over thinking or worrying, but use a more constructive way of thinking. A good way to do this, is writing it all down. Everything that is written on paper, you don’t have to think about anymore. While doing this, accept every emotion you’re feeling. Know it’s okay to feel bad.. Is there anything you can do? If yes, take action, if not, just accept it and let it go. This way, you gain wisdom out of your wounds, and you will learn how not to make the same mistakes again.
Stop having a ‘victim attitude’. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t solve the problem. If someone hurt you, stop feeling miserable for yourself. Shit happens. Stop accepting thoughts that bring you down, and stop seeing yourself as someone who never has good luck. Make your own luck.
Take responsibility for your own life. This one is a very important one. In life, there isn’t much you can control. You can’t choose the actions of other people. You can’t force anyone to like you or not to hurt you. We can’t predict the circumstances we’re going to get through during the day. But there’s one thing we can control, namely our responses and our thoughts. Don’t hold other people responsible for your happiness or life outcomes. The only one responsible for these things is you. So take your responsibility for your actions and life and make the best out of what comes your way.
Don’t let your surroundings rule you, but rule you surroundings. Sometimes we forget that we do have a choice. When you take full responsibility for your own life, you will feel way more powerful.
Take action. When we feel bad, most of the time we don’t feel energized. We tend to get on the couch or lie on our bed and don’t do anything. It’s okay to rest sometimes, but the reason why you are resting is important. By doing this, we get in a vicious circle. You don’t do something, so you can’t be proud of yourself. You might feel regret of not doing the things you should be doing. By this, you don’t get a high feeling of competence, and so we feel more bad. The only way to get out of this circle, is to take action.
Most of the time, we let our feelings determine our actions. Actually, it’s the opposite. Our actions help determines our feelings. So even though you don’t feel like it, get up, and do something. Start with something small, like going for a little run, or a task you procrastinated. Afterwards, your feeling of competence and confidence will increase, and you will feel more empowered. Start from here, and build up your action.
Get out of your comfort zone. What’s the thing you’ve always wanted to do? But were too afraid to take that step? It’s scientific proven that trying something new makes you happier and more empowered. Change your room decoration, do the haircut you’ve always wanted, buy a new shirt, go to places you haven’t been before,.. It will take away your attention from the pain, and you will feel way better. When you get stuck in sadness, it could become a habit. It gets part of your comfort zone and so it gets harder to escape this sadness. Getting out of this zone with small actions can get you out of this circle. And who knows what kind of luck is hidden behind the door you were too afraid to open?
Let it motivate you to become a better you. When someone causes you pain, breaks your heart or make you feel like you’re a bad or inferior person, use it as a motivation. Know you deserve way better and refuse to accept to let it define you. Show them different. Show them they are wrong. Show them what they are missing. They say the best revenge is huge success. And the good news is, you do can become more successful. You can become a better person when you take responsibility for your own life and take action. Start with loving yourself more. Get more healthy and start exercising. excercise helps strengthen not only your physical ability, but also your mental ability. Imagine the person you want to become, and work towards it. Step by step.
Finally, be patient with yourself. Take one step at a time. Working on yourself is a continuous work in progress. Rome wasn’t build in one day. But once you start taking these steps, you will start feeling more powerful and a lot stronger than ever before.
This is Joke Peeters first article and we’re looking forward to seeing more from her.
And with this we welcome here to our writing team!